We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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