Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
