Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
