I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
