Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
