what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
