worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I could fuck to npr.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
