google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
