yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
