yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
