Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
