Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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