Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
