I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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