Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
