omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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