your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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