found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am midnight drunk by noon
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
