Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
