All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
