I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
