I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
