im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
