google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
