It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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