literally had 100 drinks last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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