FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
