Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
