im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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