oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
third nipple confirmed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
