The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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