Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
