mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
