I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
