i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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