Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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