Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
