I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
