Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
