Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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