Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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