So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
