your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
