If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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