part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I believe in your delicious
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
