Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
only you would photoshop your dick
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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