Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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