so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
