My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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