Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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