Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
